


Tears on Tape

by MidnightxVamp888



Category: HIM (Band)
Genre: F/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:22:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27948242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightxVamp888/pseuds/MidnightxVamp888
Summary: Violet has always been lonely and different. She loves writting and living in her imagination. When she meets rock star Ville Valo everything changes. Ville is a newly turned vampire, and her life will never be the same after meeting him.
Relationships: Ville Valo/Original Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Tears on Tape

Tears on Tape

Chapter one

I spent much of my life feeling like I was different. I suppose most people can relate to that feeling. Feeling lonely in a crowded room. So I spent much of my life alone. Alone in my room reading and writing and always the music playing in the background. Heavy metal, classic rock and trip hop. I had deverse tastes in music. But there was always gutair and a haunting melody.

I never thought I'd have a intertesting life. It seemed clear since childhood my dreams of finding magic or adventure in this life was just a fansaty. The hours spent in my backyard durring youth searching for a secret garden or hidden doorway to the fairy realm was just farther prof that nothing intertesting was ever going to happen to me.

So I hid in books and music, and movies and TV shows. I loved the world's of Tolken and Tathin Lee. Of Anne Rice, Stephen King and Frank Herbet. I loved gothic literature and poetry. Edgar Allen Poe was one of my oldest amd most beloved friends.

I live in San Francisco, in a tiny shoe box apartment on the corner of Mission St. Hoards of homeless gather below my window every night and I blast Black Sabbath to drowned out thier voices. My heart aches for them, but I have no money or power to help them. I offer them my leftovers and some change when I can. I gave a man with no shoes a pair of old panda slippers I had and he thanked me and named them Andy and Derk.

My apartment has one large square room with a bathroom to the left of the front door. My bed takes up most of the room and what floor space is left is my make shift kitchen. A metal rack with shelves stacked with a hot plate, pots and pans and a small toaster oven. I actually quite enjoyed cooking even though my kicthen was difficult to cook in. There was a wash sink between the rack and my dresser. Every wall was lined with shelves, most were books, some CDs and movies. The wall beside the door was where I kept my tv. I dectorated my apartment with purple and blue twickle lights. They hung from the celicing and offered me soft lighting when I was writing on my lap top.

I worked at a coffee shop on Fosum St. It was called the Kinky Cafe and it's exactly what it sounds like. It was a small, colorful coffee shop that served basic coffee drinks and also sold sex toys and kinky gear. It had three sitting tables covered with comic book drawings. There was a sign on the door saying, "please cum again." The irony being I was still a virgin.

Living in ones head leads to high expectations. I realized back in high school my expectations for boys my age was not realistic. I had friends who lost thier virginties early and had no reports of the experience being pleasurable or even remotely enjoyable so I decided to stick to my paranormal romances.

So I was lonely. I had one real friend named Mandy who also worked with me at the coffee shop. Strong and very gender fuild, Mandy was some days a Andy. She wore tailored suties and had rainbow colored hair, and several facial piercings. I had only a eyebrow ring and a few tattoos, she was covered from head to toe in beauitful ink. I asked her once how she prefered to be gendered, she answered, "I like keeping people guessing. But I do indefty as female with male tendencies." She was also openly bisexual. I was as well but not nearly as open about it as she was.

Mandy would sometimes convince me to go to Death Guild with her, a goth club on 11th st. I enjoyed dressing up and dancing to the sisters of mercy but I still felt like a star amoung planlets. A tiny small light compared to the brillance of those around me.

I bolted out of bed one morning from a dream that left me feeling exicted. In the dream there was a man singing to me, I was dancing to his words and although I could not see his face I knew in my heart he was some one I loved.

Most of my dreams were random or just nightmares. Rarely did I have one so very comforting yet sexuality exicting. My heart was still pounding in my ears.

I grabbed my dream journal with a Amy Brown fairy on it and jolted down what I remembered. I slowly got up and stretched my arms above my head. I yawned and began my morning ritual. I lit some lavender incense and noted my alter needed dusting. I had placed it ontop of my dresser so id see it ever morning. I had a brass statute of the goddess Bree, Saint Bridget to most people, centered on a shiny velvet cloth. There were stones and crystals surrounding her feet and a few raven feathers and candles were arranged around the sides. I took a moment to take a few deep breaths and grounded myself, the emotions stired in me from my dream echoed in my chest. I sighed deeply and put on some music, Dead Can Dance was one of my favorites for the morning.

I stripped off my clothing and threw it in the hamper by my bed. I only slept in a tank top and underwear. I opened my dresser draw and pulled out my outfit for the day.

Black ripped jeans, a purple tank top and a oversized ripped up band tee. It was a Heaven and Hell shirt from the Black Sabbath tour with Dio. It had a falling angel on the print. I put on my combat boots and grabbed a lunar bar from my kitchen. I didn't need to make coffee, I got three free coffees everyday from work.

I ate the lunar bar and drank some water and took my anti-depressanits and my muti-vitaim. I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth and put my make up on. I wore little cover up, my skin was pretty nice, but I wore heavy cat-eyeliner and bright red lipstick. I brushed my long dark brown hair, I highlighted the front bangs to be purple and teal but the rest was my natural color. It was wavy, not really curly, but had lots of body. I never did much with my hair other than brush it.

I looked at my reflection. I knew I was attractive but I rarely felt attractive. I had guys and girls hitting on me but that didnt make me feel beauitful. I didn't hate anything about myself physically besides my tendecy to gain weight. I had to exercise regularly and watch my carbs.

I decided I looked good enough and turned off my music and grabbed my leather jacket and keys. I pulled my jacket on as I went out my door. I had neighbors but I never saw them. I assumed they worked night shifts. I would have had to had another job if it wasn't for the money I was getting for writting exotic e-books. 

I walked down the hallway and down the stairs to the gate that we always kept locked. I opened the gate and stepped onto the street.

"Violet, do you have anything for me?" Greg the man with the panda slippers asked, holding out a hand caked in dirt. He had found a old blanket he had wrapped around his body. I was glad to see that, winter nights even in the bay area could get very cold.

"Sorry Greg," I shook my head. "I'll bring you a cookie from work tonight." Gregg's wilthered face lit up.

"Thanks. God bless you." He called after me.

"She does!" I called back and waved.

The walk to work wasn't far, a few blocks maybe. But the fast pace of the city and the millions of people around me always felt sureal. Like a school of fish we stopped at the lights together and then when the crossing man lit up, we all walked together across the street. Bicycles wized by and I noticed nice dressed business people walking by the homeless without a glance and those in track suties and jeans stopping to give them hand outs. The ones with the most hardly ever gave back. Those like me, who barely paid their rent were the ones keeping these people alive.

I came to the Kinky Cafe and pushed open the door. Mandy was behind the counter, wearing a jewel blue suite with a blood red trim. She smiled through her snake bites and waved to me.

"Hey babe, I already got the pots on and did the prep. If you take the counter, I'll take the orders." I moved behind the counter and hung up my jacket. Mandy gave me a funny look.

"What?" I asked and turned to a customer coming in.

"Small black coffee." The tall hippy looking guy said. He had a beard and blue tinted john lennon glasses. Mandy got the work on the coffee while I took his money. I handed him the coffee and thanked him for coming.

"You seem different today." Mandy shuddenly said. I rolled my eyes at her.

"How so?" She shrugged.

"You seem....more... Yourself." I didn't really know what she meant by that.

"Okay." I went to go wipe down the tables and make sure the sugar and cream station was clean and everything was filled.

I began to slightly trance out from wiping the tables. I watched my hands move in small circles over the colorful surface. I could see my reflection in the glass, shuddenly the door bell jiggled and behind me was a tall, slender figure. I could not see the face. I felt a chill over come me. My dream came to mind. So did the saying someone was walking over my grave.

I turned around and stared into the most soulful eyes I've ever seen. They were pale green, almost blue. They belonged to a anglar face, deep set eyes and strong jaw line. Soft lips and high cheekbones. It was a man, but his features were slightly effeminate. He had curly brown hair that hung above his shoulders and he towered over me almost a foot. (And I wasn't short.). He wore a black blazer over a Heaven and Hell tee shirt. I felt frozen by his gaze. I felt confused by the fact he also liked Dio with Sabbath.

"Excuse me, Miss? Are you alright?" His lips moved and a beauitful, deep, slightly accented voice spoke. I shook myself mentally to snap out of it. So what if he was the most beauitful thing i had ever seen? He probably had a girlfriend or was gay.

"Um, sorry, yeah im fine. Just still waking up. Can I get you something?" I added the last part to hopefully save face. The man smiled, or smirked. He looked at my tee shirt and pointed to it.

"You like Sabbath I see, nice shirt." I blushed, I BLUSHED! I turned from his gaze and walked over to the counter.

"Yeah, my parents were really big fans. They got to meet Dio twice." I said as I went behind the counter. I got a glance of Madys face. She was smirking and trying not to laugh at me. Shed been waiting for this since she met me. She was asmused I was so smitten.

"That's really cool. I never got to meet him. I saw him live three times. Such a voice and presence!" He replied and I realized he still had not made an order. Just as I was opening my mouth to ask him what he wanted, Mandy chimed in,

"Hey, you want to order something or what? If you want to make small talk youll have to come back after six when Violet gets off." I gave Mandy a wide eyed look and was slightly annoyed. I knew she meant well, trying to get this guy to come back, but I didn't like it. The man chuckled and got out his wallet.

"Yes, I'd like a black coffee please."

"What size?" I asked, trying to return my heart rate to normal.

"Large."

I told him his bill and rang him up and gave him his change. Mandy handed him his coffee and he walked over to a table and sat down. He pulled a soft cover book from his breast pocket and began to read. I tried not to stare at him while he sat there, looking like a painting of fallen Angel. As I kept working, I felt his eyes on me every once in a while. Maybe he felt attracted to me too. My heart leap at the idea. I wondered why I had never felt this way before. I had crushes, but those were pretty much all fictional characters, or rock stars. Not a real flesh and blood man right in front of me. I had no idea how to flirt. I could write pages and pages of sexual tensation between characters but when it came to real life situations I was completely lost.

Mandy kept teasing me, making kissy faces and batting her lashes. I could tell she was actually excited for me though. She once asked me if I was asexual. I told her I wasn't I just hadn't met anyone I wanted to have sex with. That was until today.

A few hours went by and the man ordered another coffee and kept reading. I wondered why he was staying so long. I thought about asking him but that seemed weird. So I just tried to stay distracted with work. Finally it was almost time to go home and he was still there. The light from outside had dimmed and the wind was picking up. Mandy pulled me aside and whispered in my ear.

"Get his number," I shook my head at her. She frowned and pushed me from behind the counter.

"He likes you." She hissed and went back to cleaning up the coffee pots.

I found my feet were moving despite my thoughts to stay away. They lead me right to his table. The man look up at me from his book and smiled.

"Would you like to have a drink with me? I'd like to pick your brain about music." I could not have been more surprised.

"Um, sure. What's your name? Im Violet."

"Ville." (He predounced it, Vill-lay)

"That's a interesting name." He put away his book and stood.

"Thank you but it's quite common in Finland."

"Is that where you are from?"

"Yes, im just visting the state's for the next month or so." That made me feel worse and better at the same time. A month wasn't long enough to get a broken heart? Was it?

I grabbed my leather jacket and said good bye to Mandy. She was grinning like a cat who'd caught the mouse. She was going to demand to know how the date went. Wait was it a date? We left the coffee shop and Ville offered me his arm, like some eighteenth century gentlemen. I wrapped my arm around his and we started walking to the gay bar around the corner.

"So this is a gay bar, just so you know." I said as we approached the Glitter joint. Ville nodded.

"I figured that, I don't care." He opened the door for me.

Inside the music was loud but not so loud, you couldn't hear someone talk. It was Madonna. Thankfully it was 80s night. We went to the bar, which was lit up with glitter lamps and neon colors.

The bartender was a effeminate blond man wearing lip gloss. He wore rainbow overalls and smiled at us as we sat down.

"You guys macthing shirts are so cute! What a cute couple you make! What can I get you?"

I blushed and glanced at Villes face, he was just smiling. No reaction to the comment.

"Can I get a IPA?" He asked and turned to me. " What do you want?"

"Rum and coke with lime." I answered and the bartender said coming right up and went to work pouring.

"You don't do this kind of thing often, do you?" He asked me, scanning my face with his eyes.

"Im...yeah I don't really do this sort of thing. My co-worker Mandy drags me out sometimes but mostly I just write and read."

"I like reading as well. What sort of things do you write?" I tried to think of the best way to describe it.

"I write exrotic fiction." There, it just came out. Ville chuckled slightly, his chuckle was cute. It was almost like a hiccup.

"Really? Are you puplished?"

"Only online. I write e books. The site tells me what people want, and i write a novella about it. It's not the most creative or fufillng but it pays the bills. Im working on a fantasy novel but it won't be done for years."

"Hm, well I would still be interested in reading your work." He smirked as he spoke and looked into my eyes very deeply. I could stare at his eyes forever but I broke the gaze because it felt too intense. If I wasn't so sure he wasn't really interested in me, if this was one if my books, he could have been flirting.

"What do you do?" I asked, I was very curouis about him.

"Me? Im a musican." Shit. Shit. Shit. It was like I had created him just for me. Maybe this was just a very long, very realistic dream. If it was, I could go home with him and....

"Are you okay? You seem lost in thought?" His voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking..." My voice trailed off.

"What?" He asked.

"That This seems like a dream.... Shit that probably sounded creepy as fuck. Im sorry, maybe I should go..." As much as I liked him and wanted to get to know him, part of me was terrified and I wanted to run away.

"Violet, please stay. It didn't sound creepy. I think youre adorable." I looked into his eyes again and wondered. Is this my soul mate? God's I am such a girl...

"Thank you.... I really like you too."

We talked for hours. He seemed relaxed and cool as a cumber, while I sweated and shuttered and felt like an idiot. We had a lot in common. He loved the same bands as me, a lot of the same books and movies as well. We got each other's refences despite the fact he was from another country. I felt like I was learning about someone I had already met. He seemed so familiar. He seemed to be having a good time. He laughed at my jokes and I laughed at his. At some point his hand moved to cover mine, I looked at our hands and dared to interlock them. He let me and squeezed back. The next time our eyes met "tainted love" was playing.

"I love this song," I said, his smile grew.

"Me too... Violet, I don't have much time here. But id like to spend more time with you while I am." I blushed again and hung my head. My cheeks felt on fire. Honsetly every part of me felt on fire. I wasn't sure if it was my growing lust for him or if it was the three rum and cokes.

"Me too, i mean, id like to see you again too."

We exchanged numbers and emails and when I looked at my phone I realized we'd been talking for hours. It was almost midnight. Part of me didn't want the night to end, but another part, knew I had to get home for work tomorrow. And another part of me, the part that was extremely sexually repressed wanted to ask him if he would go home with me.

"It's getting late... I've had a wonderful time with you, but I should probably go home, I've got to work in the morning."

"I've had a wonderful night with you as well. But you are correct, it's late. Can I get you a cab?"

"No, I can walk. It's not far." I slowly got up, the floor below me moved sligthly reminding me I was a little drunk. Ville stood with me and helped me into my jacket.

"I can walk you home if you like?" I smiled at him and nodded.

"Okay, thank you."

As we walked down the street which was still busy even at midnight, we were quite. He reached for my hand again and dispite the chill, his hand was warm. That warmth echoed through my body, straight to my groin. I sighed deeply and stared at the lights of the city dancing around us. I never thought something as simple as someone holding my hand could be so exrotic.

When we came to my building I saw Gregg was waiting.

"Im sorry Gregg, I forgot your cookie." I told him as we approached. Gregg shrugged.

"It's okay, there's always tomorrow!" Ville reached into his pocket and handed him a twenty.

"Here you go, brother." He said as he handed it to him. Greggs grey eyes lit up and he grinned at us.

"God bless you, sir. Violet, this one's a keeper!" I giggled but was still unsure of such a comment. We had just met.

I turned to Ville as Gregg shuffled off down the street. I gazed into those big pale ocean green eyes again. My gaze fluttered to his lips for a secound. I think he noticed because he placed a hand on my shoulder and one cradled my cheek.

"May I kiss you good night?" He asked in a soft tone. His eyelids became heavy and his fingers stroked my cheek and chin. I could say anything, so I simply nodded and leaned into him. I stood on my toes to reach his lips and as my eyes closed our lips touched. It was a soft, gentle kiss. My heart leapt in my chest and the heat from our lips spread throughout my body. Time slowed down and the city around us vanished.

My first kiss was with a boy I went to middle school with. That kiss was brief and messy. He put his tounge in my mouth and I didn't like it. Not so much the feeling as how he did it. There was teeth involved as well. It made me never want to kiss a boy again.

This was different. It felt innocent and some how it wasn't innocent at all. If I still had any doubts he wasn't attracted to me threw out the window with that kiss. There was passion, despite it being so soft and gentle.

When we finally parted I was breathless. I opened my eyes slowly and gazed into his. He smirked at me and gave me another quick peck before letting go of me. I wanted to ask him to hold me again and to kiss me again but the words wouldn't come. So instead, I said goodnight and went inside.

Chapter two:

My head was spinning when I entered my apartment. I knew I had not drank that much so it must have been from the kiss. I put on Heaven and Hell and started to undress. I realized as my stomach growled I hadn't eaten in hours. I opened my mini frigg and found I had some left over chow mein. I ate quckily and drank some water. I laid out on my bed as "children of the sea" played. I rolled over and got my rolling stuff out from my beside table. A copy of "interview with the Vampire." Was my rolling tray. I ground up some weed and started rolling. As I licked the joint and closed it, I thought about if Ville smoked or if he would judge me for smoking. I lit the joint up in time for Toni Iomi's gutiar solo. I coughed as I exhaled and closed my eyes in bliss. This was my nightly ritual. Tonight it felt different. I felt different. Maybe Mandy was right.

The next morning I awoke from a dream. The same dream as the night before but this time I saw the man's face. It was Ville. The shadowy figure shuddenly became clear as daylight. It did not comfort me the same way it did before. This time it scared me.

I got up and started to get ready. Instead of my normal outfit of jeans and a band tee, I wore a flowing black velvet skirt with a w shaped hem line. The darts went to my mid thigh while the hem went to my mid calf. I paired it with a pair of thigh high fishnets and a red velvet fake corset top with lace up ribbons. I teased my hair a little around the roots and wore my bangs back in a partial up do and tied macthing red ribbons in the up do. I felt more... Sexy today. I wore my calf high lace up high heeled boots instead of my combat boots.

I looked at my reflection and found I was very happy with what I saw. I loved dressing up, just hardly felt movited to. The fact I might see Ville again today was a movition.

I nearly skipped to work. I wore my ear buds today as i walked to block out the world around me. I felt giddy and excited to be alive. I remember feeling this way when my first e book was bought. And when I graduated commuty college. But not many other times in my life had I felt truly alive. Type O Negative blared in my head and I smiled and waved to people like I did that sort of thing all the time. I noticed two men jogging in front of me, one dark and one light. They smiled at me and stopped jogging.

"You should be a model," the light one said through a grin. The dark one nodded in agreement. I thanked them and kept walking, part of me was flattered. I never got complimemts from men. But another part of me, the one that lives in the city, was cautious. I realized that dressing sexy was bound to attract attention. I also only really wanted one person to find me attractive though. Thanks boys, but im interested in some one else.

Mandys eyes widened when I walked through the door.

"Damnnnn...girl You are smokin' hot today." She grinned and handed me my morning coffee.

"Thanks, aparently these two joggers thought the same thing about me." Mandy started making a new pot of coffee as I walked behind the counter and took off my jacket.

"Well if I didn't know better, id say that your date," she said "date" like it was too big for her mouth, "went well. Spill."

I started wiping down the counter and till as I repiled, "it wasn't exactly a date..." I went on to explain what happened. When I mentioned the hand holding and the kiss, she interpurted me.

"Wait, not a date? Holding hands? Kissing you goodnight? Sounds like a first date to me." She laughed.

"Fine so it was a date..." In the background I heard the bell on the door as someone walked in,"doesn't mean that he'll actually call me or sho-" I froze as I turned towards the coustmer. It was Ville and he was smiling.

"Or shoe?" He asked, humor in his voice. I slapped myself mentally.

"Never mind, it's good to see you again so soon. Can I get you something? A black coffee?" He nodded.

"Yes, please and it's good to see you. You look beauitful today. Not that you didn't yesterday. You changed your hair." I blushed so hard I thought flames would epurt from my cheeks. My head had to be smoking at least.

"Thank you." I squeaked and took his money and rang him up. Mandy handed him his coffee and introduced herself to him.

"Pleased to officially meet you, Violet told me you are her best friend." Mandy patted my butt.

"And she's mine. Glad to know the feeling is mutual." Ville had his coffee in hand and he almost looked like he was going to turn away, he paused however and he asked me,

"Im sorry you probably didn't get dinner last night. Can I make it up to you and can I take you out? There is a great Thai place beside my hotel."

"Sure she would!" Mandy answered for me because I was speechless for a secound.

"Yes, I'd love to." I finally choked out. I frowned at Mandy for a moment.

"Hey you were frozen honey," she looked at Ville, " and I know she likes you!" Ville chuckled and his cheeks looked a little flushed themsevles. Did I make him nervous?

"Mandy! Just go back to making coffee please!" I begged her, she crackled and turned back towards the coffee pots.

"Um you don't have to hang out here all day. I'll call you when im off work."

"So you think I stayed here all day yesterday reading, because I was waiting for you to get off?" My eyes widened in surprise. "Because I did." He grinned, it was the first time id seen his grin besides a smirk or soft smile. It was mad and wide and goofy. I loved it. 

The day could not have gone by slower. I had to stop myself from watching the clock. Mandy teased me endlessly.

"He is really hot. I don't blame you. Sorry im giving you a hard time, it's just..." Her voice got choked up, "my little girl is growing up!" I rolled my eyes at her.

"This is really weird for me, okay? I went on one awkward date with a boy I was friends with in high school and then he told me we were better as friends... He told me that because the other kids started ragging on him for dating me." Mandys face softened.

"I get it. You are going through something that usually happens in high school. You are learning and youre scared and that's what happens to everyone someday. Im sorry it's hard for you. If you want some advice, you shouldnt sleep with him tonight. I know he's only around for a little while but you will feel better about yourself and him if you do. You have no experience and therefore you should take it slow. I know, i know part of you is screaming just fuck him but that's your pussy talking and not your head or your heart. Heavy making out and maybe some dry humping should be fine though." I stared at Mandy for a moment, I was serving a woman in her mid sixties. The woman surprised me she laughed and nodded.

"You should listen to your friend." She paid and left the coffee shop. I turned to Mandy and couldn't not laugh myself.

"I love working here," she commented, grining wildly. So did I.

I met Ville at the Thai restaurant, it was too far to walk so I called an uber. I stoped by my apartment really fast to refresh my make up and make sure my hair still looked good. I put on some lavendar perfume and put my clove lip gloss over my red lipstain. The clove made my lips tingle, I smiled as I applied it, knowing it'd make his lips tingle when I kissed him. I did a quick glamor spell while I stood in front of the mirror. I think I did look a little better.

I walked into the restaurant and saw Ville right away. He had changed into a smooth shinny suite with a lavender hue over navy. He wore a black buttom up shirt under the blazer and the first few buttons were undone. My eyes struggled to look away from the tattoo that was peeking out from his chest. He had also lined his eyes in black eyeliner and they made the green stand out and almost glow. He stood from the table and pulled out my chair. I sat down and greeted him. Standing behind me he leaned down and whispered in my ear, his warm breath on my neck gave me goosebumps.

"You look even more beauitful now." I had not changed or even put on more make up, but he noticed what I had done. I smiled to myself, pleased my magic had worked.

He sat beside me and we ordered our drinks and I began looking at the menu. My eyes would wonder from the menu to his tattoo. It seemed to be a poratit of a woman. I wondered who it was. I noticed he was quite tattooed. So I asked him about them.

"My heart on my wrist is my first tattoo. Then the sleeve," he took off his blazer and rolled up his shirt and showed me a beauitful tattoo going from his wrist to his shoulder. It looked like Japanese ocean waves curling around his arm like a sprial. "I can't show you the others right now, it's too public. Maybe you could come up to my room for a drink after this and I can show you the rest." His eyes were intense and I swallowed my wine hard and almost choked. That remark had sexual overtones to it.

"Okay, that would be great...." I thought about what to say, part of me just wanted to blurt out I was a virgin so maybe he would understand how confused and terrified I was. I felt that familiar ach in my loins and felt myself becoming aroused. I was getting aroused just from thinking about the posssbity of having sex with him.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked me, tilting his head.

"Um, well I trying to decide if I want spring rolls."

"I'll spilt them with you." I was relieved to have changed the conversation. I took another drink from my wine glass. Ville had so ordered red wine so we decided to get a whole bottle.

I ordered the chicken pat Thai and so did Ville. When the waiter left, Ville leaned into me and asked,

"So, what were you actually thinking about?"

"Um...." I tried very hard to think of something. Anything that would be somewhat truthful, but not embrassing.

No No

"I'm neverous around you." Villes experssion became almost unreadable.

"And I make you nervous? Why?"

"Because Mandy was right, I do like you. I like you a lot even though we've just met. Im worried im going to scare you off because im..." My voice trailed off. Ville nodded and his eyes grew concerned.

"Violet, I really like you too. I liked you from the moment I first saw you. I hope you can understand that im genuinely interested in you as a person. Not just because you are beauitful and im atracted to you. You don't have to worry. I would be happy just to be friends, however I will be honest in saying I hope we can become lovers as well." I was looking at my wine glass as he spoke, trying to focus on his words, not the hammering in my chest. I rose my gaze to met his and I smiled.

"I do too. You might be the most beauitful person I've ever met." Ville blushed, he blushed! He smirked and took a drink of his wine, then he rose the glass.

"To new friends and lovers," he said and I rose my glass to his and echoed his words. We clicked the glasses and both drained them. Ville poured me and himself another glass. Our food came and we were fairly silent as we ate. Our eyes met often as we ate and drank. It was as if our gazes were as hungry for each other as we were for the food.

"That was really good. You should let me cook for you. I have a crumy kitchen but I make magic in it." I said after our plates were taken.

"Id love to taste your cooking." Ville purred. At this point it seemed there was a double meaning to most of what we said to each other.

We talked about our familes as we finished our bottle of wine. At this point my head was swimming with the wine and thoughts of being alone witn Ville. We'd never been truly alone together before. My heart started to feel tight with anexity again.

"My mom worked at an office. She's retried now. My father owns a sex shop in Helsinki. They live there. My brother is a kick boxing champion and he lives in Thailand. He visits often though." Ville explained. I giggled.

"That's why you came in the kinky cafe." I said, Ville shook his head.

"No actually I heard you had great coffee and no wait. But no it doesn't shock me. Most things don't." Ville said and I grinned.

"Nothings shocking." I said through my grin. Ville chuckled.

"Jane's Addiction. Nice. I love your taste in music. I've never met anyone else who loved Corrosion of Conformity as much as I did. So what about your family?"

I lost my smile.

"My parents were metal head hippies. My mom was a hair dresser, my dad was in a band. My older brother was too for a little while. My mom died of cancer when I was seventeen. My dad killed himself a year later. My brother is on drugs, like hard drugs, and I haven't seen him in five years..." I sighed and hoped that I wasnt too much of a downer. Ville brow hardened and he looked at me with no pity but something like it.

"Im sorry that you don't have family. How long have you been alone?"

"Five years." I realized my eyes were tearing up. I quickly took a deep breath. Ville patted my hand on the table.

"You don't deserve to be alone. No one does, but deffanitly not some one like you."

"Im okay, it's just hard to talk about. Sometimes if I don't think about it, it's like it happened to some one else. Other times when I do think about it. It hurts so bad I can barely stand it."

"You don't have to talk about it. Im glad i know but let's talk about something else. Oh by the way, im kind of famous." My eyes widened.

"Really? I mean, your band is?"

"Well we've spilt up, we are still friends but doing different projects. HIM is my claim to fame. We went gold in the US which was the first time a Finnish band ever has. I've opened for Meaticlla. I've gotten to meet Ozzy. I feel very blessed but I also have some fans that aren't stable. I feel like you should know this." I almost couldn't believe him. I got out my phone.

"Can i Google you?" He laughed.

"Yes, go a head." My phone blew up with pictures, fan sites, videos and articles. I quite enjoyed a few of the pictures I saw of him. Rock star sex God in leather pants, no shirt and tattoos all laid bare.

"I want to hear your music." I said and rethought it, "not just because you are famous. But because I want to hear it."

"We call it "love metal". Basically we are like if Black Sabbath had a baby with The Cult and that baby had a baby with Bon Jovi." I busted out laughing.

"Wow now I need to hear it."

We went next door to Villes hotel. While we were outside he lit up a cigarette. I use to smoke cigarettes in high school but i quit in collage. I was tempted to ask him for one, so I did. It didn't seem like one would undo anything. We smoked and I closed my eyes as my head rushed like it use to when i first started smoking.

"You know, these will kill you." I smiled at Ville as I spoke. He grinned and exhaled a cloud of smoke around me.

"Okay Eric Draven," he got my Crow reference without me even thinking he would.

Once we were done, we went up to his room. The ride in the elevator was slightly awkard. We stood very close, without touching. The tension in the air was thick as honey, and almost as sticky. We were both wondering what would happen when we were alone.

The doors opened and I followed him down the hall to his room. We stopped in front of 809 and Ville used the card to open the door. It smelt like cigarettes inside and the bed was unmade. There was two plush green chairs facing the door. There was a large tv and the curtains matched the chairs. My eyes darted all around the room, to the guitar on the one chair, to the overflowing ashtray, but they kept going back to the unmade bed.

Ville closed the door and took off his jacket. He offered to take mine and I shuddenly became very hot and very aware of every inch of my skin that was exposed.

"You can sit anywhere you want. Sorry about the mess, I don't like the housekeepers coming in all the time."

"It's fine. You should see my place, it's clean but it's not much bigger than this room. I actually think the building use to be a hotel. Now it's just cheap housing, well cheap for San Francisco."

"I'd like to see it, just to know you better. You can tell a lot about a person from thier home." I sat down on the bed, I felt drawn to it like a mangtic pull. Ville picked up his gutair and sat a cross from me on the chair. He put the gutair in his lap and played with the tuning for a moment.

"Are you going to play something for me?" Ville looked over to me and smirked.

"If youd like," I nodded and crossed my legs. Somehow I caught his eyes shifting from my eyes to my legs and back again.

"Please do," I said and he cleared his throat.

"This is a song I wrote only a few years ago. It's about wanting some one you can't have."

As he began to play, I was enchanted. He was so talented! The melody was haunting and beauitful. Then he began to sing! His voice was so beauitful, just as beauitful as his playing. It was deep and sensual and full of emotion. Just like he was. The more he played and the louder he sang the more I could feel my body responding. I was becoming wet just from his music. I shuddered to think of what it would be like to have him touch me.

When he was finished, I clapped as hard as I could. He gave me a slight nod, as if it were a bow. He stood and put the gutair back on the other chair.

"That was...beauitful. I can't wait to hear more. Your meldoy and voice are chilling." Ville turned to me and started to walk slowly towards me. When he stood in front of me, I shuddenly felt possessed. I reached up to grab his shirt and my trembling fingers began to unbutton it.

"You said youd show me your tattoos..." I whispered, Ville smiled and shamelessly looked down my shirt. He reached out and traced his finger over the penatle I had tattooed over my heart.

"If you show me if you have any other tattoos."

"Show me yours and I'll show you mine." I was surprised that the words left mouth so easily.

Once I had unbuttoned his shirt, I let my hands drop and I studied the beauitul poratits he had all over his body. He turned around and I saw Edgar Allen Poe's eyes staring at me from his shoulder blades. His body was very thin and slender, but well toned. He turned back around and I raised my hand slowly and touched his chest, just above the nipple. He had that heart syboml I'd seen on Google tattooed there. It was a heart and a penatle combined.

"It's a heartagram. It means love and hate, life and death." I saw his nipple become hard from my caresses.

"It's beauitful, you designed it?" I asked, he nodded and closed his eyes and a small shudder passed through him. Shuddenly I became aware my face was inches from his groin and I could see his excitement from my touching was making things grow. Shuddenly his pants were too tight and I could see the outline of his penis. I swallowed hard and looked back at him . He ran his fingers through my hair and slowly bent down to kiss me.

All bets were off. This kiss was different. Than the first one. It was hard, not soft, it was full of sexual longing. I felt his tongue licking my bottom lip and I sighed into his mouth and his tongue slid against mine gently and lightly, like a whisper. Shuddenly I was leaning back on the bed and he was on top of me. I ran my hands over his bare back and down his chest. His skin was soft and I could feel the outline of his muscles and bones.

His lips left mine as they kissed a trail down my neck. He licked my neck and began sucking on it, gently.

I moaned and ran my fingers through his hair. His hands roamed over my body, my breasts, my hips, my thighs. His lips found mine again and my skin shuddenly became very hot. I moved my pelvis against his, not even meaning to, and I felt his hardness. I wanted him so badly but part of me, a far off echo in my brain was still terrified.

Ville stopped kissing me and looked down at me, his eyes were darker than they usually were.

"Are you okay with this? Do you want me to stop?" He asked. I gently pushed him back and sat up, he sat beside me on the bed.

"I want to, I really, really do. It's just...." I could not form the words. I needed to tell him, I just wasn't sure how. He frowned slightly and touched my shoulder.

"It's okay. I can wait if you need more time. We have just met. I don't want to put pressure on you." I smiled at him, he was so sweet.

"I'm a virgin." I finally burlted out. His eyes widened.

"You are a virgin who writes exrotica and works at a coffee shop that sells sex toys?" He asked, slowly. I could see confusion on his face.

"Yes, I know it's weird. I never met anyone who I really was attracted to before. I have a vivid imagination and that imagination has kept me company and so far saistfed my needs. I have always been afraid to let someone get close to me, in case they hurt me." I explained the best way I could. He nodded but still looked puzzled.

"And you are twenty three?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yes." Ville was silent for a moment. It made me nervous so I spoke, "if you don't like that Im sorry. I can go-" Ville interpurted me,

"No! Please don't. I don't mind, I've just never been in this situation before. I mean, my first time wasnt with a virgin and I've never been invoved with one before. I'm thirty eight, almost forty, I never thought I'd be in this postion. It's not you at all." He was almost forty? He looked only a few years older than I was. The age difference didn't really bother me, but it did mean he was ridiculously more experienced than I was.

"So it doesn't bother you?" I asked carefully.

"No, not at all... But I do think we should have a few more dates before having sex. I think you deserve that." I felt like a weight was lifted from me when he said that. I was fine with him setting the pace. Although I was still pretty aroused and part of me wanted to rip both our clothes off and beg him to take me.

Ville put his hand on my thigh. I had garter belts tattooed on both thighs. My left thigh had a small dagger in the garter.

"I like your tattoos. Do you have any more?" His voice was deeper than usual as he spoke. I nodded and lifted my shirt up, leaving me in my black lace bra. I had a oranite lace bat tattooed between my shoulder blades I showed him. He ran his fingers over the design and I shivered.

"It's beauitful." He said and placed a kiss on the bat. Shuddenly I was aware that things were heating up again. He had said no sex, but there were other things....

"Do you want to see me naked?" I asked, trying not to let my voice tremble like my body was.

"I do, very much, however, I think we should wait to get naked. I can use my imagination too."

He kissed me after that and we touched each other, exploring each other. I don't know how long we kissed, but time seemed to slow to a stop as long as his lips and hands were on me. Finally he pulled away and handed me my shirt.

"You should probably go home. I had a amazing time with you, but im only flesh and blood and if you stay, I can't promise what will happen next." He said this as he pulled at the cloth of his crotch. I also assumed he was becoming uncomfortable being aroused and not being able to do much about it. I put my shirt back on and stood up, Ville helped me into my jacket.

"Thank you for being so understanding. I had an amazing time as well."

He called me an uber and kissed me goodnight. It was longer than the first kiss goodbye, and it held more sexual tension.

When I got home Gregg greeted me like he always did and I gave him a few dollars to get some food.

"Spend this on a hot dog or something. If I come down tomorrow and your passed out next to a empty bottle, im going to be annoyed." I warned him

"No I will get food. Don't worry." He replied and shuffled off.

I climbed the stairs to my apartment thinking about the night. I had never had a date before and this feeling was new and shinny. It made me feel lighter, like there was air under my feet.

Once I was in my apartment and had gotten comfortable in my pjs, I opened my lap top and Googled HIM. I listened to every alumb in order and watched several music videos. Ville almost didn't look real in the videos. He looked like some vampire caught on Tape, singing and swaying to the camera. I wondered how someone so beauitful and talented could want me. I was... Well attractive yes, creative, yes. But over all I was... Well, weird. He should be dating a model....than I found out that he use to pretty much only date models. The pictures of his ex's haunted me slightly. They looked ethereal like he did.

I stayed up until the sun began to rise over the bay. Making the buildings and streets glow with orange light. I was very tried but as I snuggled into my bed, I still found sleep hard to achieve. He'd awakened something deep and primal in me. And the last thought I had before sleep took me was that I didn't just want him sexually, I was starting to fall in love with him.

Chapter three:

I didn't work at the coffee shop the next morning so I did my morning ritual slowly. I took a shower and ate an apple and got dressed in my comfortable clothing. Stripy leggings and a tank top. I pulled my hair up in a messy bun and started to clean my bathroom. Once I was done, I sat down and started to write. The story I was working on was a vampire exrotica story and Villes music was the perfect inspiration. Not to mention the fact I had actually gone to secound base with someone and was bursting with sexual ideas.

I wrote for a few hours until I got hungry again. I started cooking chicken soup from scratch and just as it was almost done, my phone went off. It was a text from Ville.

"Thought about you all last night and still can't get you out of my head. I need to see you again. Are you available tonight?"

I smiled reading the text. My heart leapt and I sighed. I replied of course, and where and when should we meet. He responded seven and hed pick me up from home.

I dressed in a purple velvet dress with a dragdon pattern emboroied on it. I wore my hair in half pig tales and did my make up very carefully. My hand was shaking a little more, I assumed it was from my nerves. I felt like laughing at myself, I was being silly. I knew he liked me, knew he wanted me, why was I still so scarred? 

You don't want to get hurt. 

The thought echoed in my head a moment before I turned off my music and grabbed my jacket to head out the door. 

Gregg had not bought a bottle but was asleep on the sidewalk. I bent down by him and tossed a few quarters under his blanket. I also mumbled a prayer for him under my breath. By the time I was standing up, Ville was pulling up in a uber. He got out of the car and opened the door for me. I pecked his lips before sliding into the car. 

"I thought we might go dancing." Ville said after he got in and the unber took off. I noticed he was wearing black leather pants with a bright red button up shirt. He looked even sexier than he useally did. 

"Dancing? I love dancing but where are we going?" I asked because most clubs played music I could not stand. Then I realized it was Monday night. 

"We're going to death guild. When you mentioned it last night, I thought it sounded like fun." I smiled and reached for his hand. It felt cold this time, I thought it was strange. 

The car pulled up in front of the club and there was black to neon spandex clothed people standing outside. Some were beauitful, some were beautifully strange. Thier colorful hair, some with shaved heads, but all were covered with tattoos and piercings. 

Ville opened the door for me again, I didn't wait for him, in fact I was trying to get him to it. I got distracted by my phone, Mandy had texted me and asked if i was one another date. 

("Babe, are you on another date? If so than you are totally going to bang him tonight. Enjoy yourself and be safe! ;)" )

I rolled my eyes at her text as I climbed out of the car. Ville took my hand and we walked up to the door together. The man at the door was thickly built and tall, wearing all black with a beard. As we walked, I felt eyes on us. Maybe some of them knew who he was? I hoped I didn't see myself on Facebook later on one of the HIM pages I started to follow. 

"IDS please," the beard man asked. We handed him our IDS and he gave us neon green wrist bands. When we walked inside, I heard "BloodLetting" by Concrete Blonde was pumping through to the street. There was a booth right inside, where you paid and they stamped your wrist band. The girl with bright blue hair's jaw dropped after she stamped Villes wrist band. The girl smiled and started to get exicted. 

"Sorry, but you are like, Ville (she pronounced Vi-ll) Valo? Im a huge fan!" She squeaked. Ville looked slightly embarrassed but he grinned at the girl. 

"Yes, I am and thank you." 

"Can I get your autograph? And maybe a Selfie?" She asked, her excitement growing. 

"Sure, do you have a pen?" She handed him a marker and a flyer to sign. 

"Here, my name is Raven." She batted her lashes at him. Surprisingly I felt little jealousy. I knew he was just being friendly. 

He drew his signature very fluidly, it had a heartagram around it. He handed it to her and she got out her phone and he leaned into her and smiled as she snapped the photo. 

"Thank you so much!" She hugged him and when she let him go, he looked at me with a strained smile, that said, "I hope you aren't mad." I giggled at him as he took my arm again and we walked into the actutal club. 

Ville seemed distracted as we walked through the club to the bar. The club was two levels, the first level had two sets of stairs leading to a stage, than continued to The secound level. The main dance floor was in front of the stage. The secound level was the chill space. There was another DJ and smaller dance floor. The music was more relaxed and quiter. The secound level opened up after the chill room back to above the main dance floor. There were seats and tables on the secound level scattered throughout.

We ordered our drinks from a man with a bald head covered in tribal tattos. The bar was not crowded, goth night was never a big hit at the club, that's why they made it on Mondays. Once we had our drinks, I suggested we go up to the secound level to hear each other better. We found a booth in the chill room and made our way through the four dancers on the floor. We sat down and Ville still seemed distracted. He wasn't looking at me the way he usually did. His eyes were scanning the room, maybe he was just taking in the beauitful freaks dancing like they were pulling cobwebs or punching hobbits. 

"Is something on your mind?" I asked, Ville finally looked at me. 

"I'm sorry, Im kind of distracted tonight. Don't think anything of it. Im glad to be here with you, and you look beauitful as always." He purred "beauitful" and I smiled and reached out for his hand. Again it was cold, but I still laced our fingers together. He looked at our hands interlaced on the table and smiled. 

"We should dance after we finish our drinks. Im really digging the music, and I bet you dance really well." Ville said, that sexy smirk returning to his lips. I giggled and responded,

"Im a pretty good dancer, but I can't wait to see you dance." Ville laughed, that strange hiccup laugh. 

"No, I look like a person having a heart attack." I shook my head.

"I don't believe you." 

Ville downed his drink and stood up and offered me his hand. Haunting keyboard started playing and I recognized the song as "enjoy the slience" by Depch Mode. I finished my drink and took his hand as i rose from the booth. 

There was only two people left on the dance floor when we walked over. Ville lead me to the center of the room. The far wall was lined with mirrors and I saw me and Ville together for the first time. No wonder people were staring at us, we were beauitful. 

Ville placed his hand on my hip and held my opposite hand. We began swaying together in time with the beat. He had rythem, not at all like he was having a heart attack. The music entered our bodies and let us around the dance floor like puppets. As we stared into each other's eyes again, I thought I noticed the pale green in his eyes was, darker again, like when we made out. The green was more of a dark hunter green. I thought it might just be the low lighting in the club. 

As the song ended, Ville bought me close to him and placed his face beside mine. The Birthday Massacre started playing next and it was a faster tempo, so we moved slightly faster, however he kept his face beside mine. His cheek brushed against mine and a chill ran through me. Why was he so cold? Even while dancing? That thought slowly faded away as the music took me again and I realized this was one of the most romantic moments of my life. Even if he had to leave in a month, even if he broke my heart, I would always have this moment, this mermoy, forever. 

After the third song, I was a little out of breath. So I pulled away from him and asked if we could sit down for a moment.

"Of course, you sit down and Ill get us another drink." He gave me a quick kiss and I started walking towards the table. I looked at my phone to see if Mandy had texted me again, she had. 

("Babe, you know im getting your goat. Im serouis though have a good time.:p")

I texted her back, saying I was having a wonderful time and to stop checking in on me. I looked up from my phone to look for Ville. It had been a few minutes and he still wasn't back. Maybe he went to use the restroom? I waited for ten more minutes before deciding to check the bar. 

There was no one at the bar besides the bartender. He waved at me and asked if I wanted another drink. I shook my head.

"Have you seen the man I came in here with?" I asked him. 

"He went downstairs." He replied and went back to wiping dowm the bar. I frowned in confusion. Why did he go downstairs? I walked down the stairs and past the main stage, scanning the crowd of people dancing. I didn't see him. My heart began to feel tight. 

I wondered all the way outside to were people were smoking to see if he went to have a cigarette. I turned the corner from the doorway to the club. In the shadow of the building I sensed movement and heard a moan. I moved closer, into the shadow and there was Ville.

Ville was kissing the blue haired girl named Ravens, neck. She was leaning against the building, her eyes were closed and her lips were parted and she was breathing heavy. My heart dropped to my stomach. I felt the most extreme wave of anger and pain I'd felt since my parents died. I felt like screaming, i felt like grabbing the back of his hair and slamming his face into the building. But I just stood there. Frozen. Ville lifted his head from Ravens neck and looked at me, there was a small trail of blood coming from his lips. 

The rational mind tends to try and make sense of things that dont make sense. My mind was reeling from one posssbity to another. Was he crazy and thought he was a vampire? Or was he actually a vampire? My mind began to hurt with my heart. 

"Violet! I can explain!" Ville exclaimed and stepped away from the girl. She swooned and didn't seem to know what was happening. Her neck was bleeding from two pin holes and she slid down the building until she was crumpled against it. She was breathing deeply, but she was breathing at least. 

I opened my mouth to try to say something, anything. But nothing, no sound or words came out. Ville wiped his mouth with his hand and stepped towards me slowly, his hands out in front of him. 

"Im sorry if what you've seen has hurt you. But please let me explain. Please." He begged me, his eyes were pale green again and they looked glassy with tears. 

I closed my mouth and closed my eyes for a secound. I took a deep inhale and exhaled it slowly. I opened my eyes to find Ville was standing right in front of me. The girl, Raven, was recovering, she groaned and stood up, her hands using the building wall to steady herself. She looked at both of us with clouded eyes and frowned slightly. 

"How did I get outside? Shit someone must have roofied me… fuck." She said in a groggy voice and rubbed her neck. When she saw the blood on her hand she frowned harder in confusion. 

"You scratched yourself on the wall. Are you okay?" I asked her, walking past Ville tp help her stand. She thanked me and I offered to call her an uber home. I was ignoring Ville for the moment. Focusing on Ravens well being was a welcomed distraction. I got out my phone and thought of just asking the uber to take both of us home. My eyes found Villes while I ordered the ride, I decided I needed to know what he was going to say. 

When the uber pulled up I helped her inside and then I turned to Ville. He was looking worried and a little pitiful. It made me feel a little better to know he wasnt trying to hurt me. I sighed deeply before speaking to him. 

"Would you have killed her?" I asked, it was the first thing on my mind because WHAT THE FUCK? 

"No, of course not. She'll be fine. I only take what I need." Ville tried to reassure me. I raised an eyebrow at him. 

"So… you said you could explain?" I asked. 

"Yes, well I assume you know what I am." 

"A vampire... Or you think you are a vampire." I replied. Ville sighed and shook his head. 

"I am. I know it sounds crazy... But I am. Look, I didn't ask for this. A crazy fan showed up in my bedroom one night and she turned me. Shed been stalking me for months and I don't think she was very old… probably just turned herself. She tried to make me love her, she wouldn't leave me alone despite me telling her I hated her for what she had done. My music career is basically over. I can't perform because people will notice im not aging. She ruined my life and if this is a deal breaker for you, I understand completely but please, don't let her take you away from me too." His voice was strained and the tears welling in his eyes made my heart melt. I felt bad for him. I went from loving him to hating him to fearing him and now I was feeling sorry for him. 

"I don't know, Ville, I don't just know what to say or how to react." I sighed again. "I still feel things for you, and part of me wants to ask you a thousand questions. I mean, who actually gets to interview a vampire? But I need some time to think about this. I feel like i walked into one of my own stories." 

"You still want to see me?" He asked, his face and voice hopeful. 

"Yes…" I said slowly. "Yes but we need to talk about this later. Im tried and emotionally drained." I got out my phone to order another uber. 

"Can I accompany you home?" He asked. I wanted to say yes but I didn't. 

I barely spoke to him until the uber showed up. I wanted to ask him so many questions. I was insanely courouis about what kind of vampire could actully exist. I had seen him in daylight, so that was fiction. He didn't glitter either, thankfully. He needed blood but didn't need to kill. He could be aroused so Anne Rice rules were out. 

I said good bye to Ville and he went to kiss me. I stepped back from him and put my hand on his chest to stop him.

"Im sorry, but not tonight. Not after seeing that." I didn't want to taste that girls blood. 

I got in the car and as we pulled away I looked back at Ville. He looked defeated, I knew I'd hurt him but hey, seeing that had hurt me. Part of me didn't want to leave him though. But I knew going home to decompress was probably the best thing to do.


End file.
